Lately I have been wanting to conform. It's funny, I've never really considered myself the conformist type. When you live in a small town everyone expects it. It is normal. It is desired by most conservative minds. However, recently I have tired of being different. Sure, we are all distinct in many ways, but when it comes to the typical 30+ year old in Cardston, I am different in a lot of ways. I would give a lot to be "normal".
I wanted my kids to grow up in a loving two parent family. I wanted to have the typical experiences of a young mother, not a 70 year old. I wanted to grow old with my best friend. I wanted to never know loneliness. But, as I have learned, it is not about what I wanted. It was about what I needed. Apparently, I needed soul stretching experiences to learn my lessons. Evidently, I needed to be a bit of an anomaly to be the person I need to be. Being different is not without gifts and blessings. I fully acknowledge that. Unconventional does not always mean bad. Maybe I'm wrong in all the right ways ; ) To all those who feel different, I raise my glass to you.
2 comments:
I admire you. People do watch you but in a way of sympathy and admiration. Can I use your comments in my Relief Society lesson on finding joy in the journey?
Coralee, I'll definitely raise my glass to the words of this post!
And just so you know, I look up to, appreciate and love people like you, those who don't conform, whether by choice or otherwise. My heart breaks for the loss of the ideal, the loss of the typical experiences of a mother & family life that we all hope to have, and the dream of growing old with your best friend by your side. In those ways, I am very, very sorry for the painful soul stretching difficulties you have been given in order to be the phenomenal 30+ anomaly, as you put it, that you are...because you are amazing in so many ways because of it! Hang in there...your family, ...children and your husband are so lucky to get to have you for eternity! That's what I hold on to when times are tough down here when we aren't living the ideal circumstances, aka not conforming to the typical mormon plan/dream...anyway, I'll stop now but I did appreciate this post, I'm sorry for the novel of a response.
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