Implode

Ever have those days where you feel you are going to implode? Well, today was one of them. Unless I figure out how to clone myself, tomorrow's schedule is probably going to produce the same results. Weekend please come fast.

Birthday Buddies

I want to make a short post dedicated to a couple of close friends that have had birthdays in the last week or so.

Yes, I stole this from your blog ; )

The first time I met Jenna was across a conference table during a job interview. She was interviewing for a position at our school. Of course she impressed the heck out of everyone on the panel, including me. Little did I know that person would become a life long friend. She is super smart, witty, an outside the box thinker, and uber-talented. We have listened, laughed and cried and I hope to continue that for many, many more years. Love you Jenna!

My other birthday friend is Zela. To know Zela is to love her. She is just so stinkin' likable. My favorite thing about her is her laugh. She is super mom and super wife. Her kindness, sense of humor, passion for  travel, and commitment to her beliefs make her a pleasure to know. She has been such a support and amazing sounding board for me. You are the best Z!

Happy birthday to two of my favorite ladies!

So I Think This House Thing is a Go

My mind has been very occupied lately. With what, you may ask? With all things house.  Just a couple of months before Cam's diagnosis we were in the process of planning our dream house. Of course, those plans came to an abrupt halt as all our extra cash was siphoned away for travel and medical expenses and treatment.

However, this year I came to the realization that our plan could still move forward. At first I felt like I was crazy for even thinking this, but then again, a realization: There is nothing holding me back, so why not? I also felt like the time was now because I want my kids to enjoy this house with me and they will be gone all to soon. So.........no time like the present eh?

To add to the lunacy, I have decided to general contract it myself. I mean, how hard can it be right? Ha. I am finding out how hard in a real hurry. But saving $30 grand by doing it is quite motivating, despite the work and headaches that have only just begun.

As is evidenced by my pinterest posts of late, my mind is swimming with house ideas and decisions that have to be made. If all goes well I am hoping to start in the spring. I have 10 acres of land right on the edge of town that I will be building on. The kids are excited to be close to my dad's horses and are even talking about setting up a chicken coop. We can be pretend hobby farmers I guess.

Even though the decisions and processes are stressful, I haven't had this much fun or have been this excited about something in a long time. I hope I still feel this way as the project moves forward.

It is pretty fun to watch the responses I get from people and businesses as I go about my to do list. People around here aren't very used to seeing a woman dealing with things like getting contractor quotes and presenting to the town council and planning commission.  At first it felt like they were humoring a little child, but when I keep coming back and harping on them, I think they know now that I mean business.

I welcome any and all tips from my vast (haha) reading audience that they think would help on this journey. I will keep you posted on the progress, or lack of it ; )

Holding a Grudge is Like Letting Someone Live Rent Free in Your Head

I have been thinking a lot about the power we ALLOW other people to have over us.  Time and time again we let someone else control our happiness, our emotions, our inner weather. We can get so angry and worked up about this person and the situation they have caused, and yet they have absolutely no idea that we feel this way.

I hate to say this has happened to me lately. There is someone who is in my son's sphere of influence that is making me crazy. I am allowing him to control how I feel and if I am angry or not. A lot of other people know that I feel this way, but he has no idea. I would love to talk to him directly about it but I can't. It is one of those situations where if I say something other things  could be in jeopardy.

The problem is I have a very difficult time letting go of things. I am a very emotional person. It is hard for me to just let things roll off, especially when injustices are occurring, and I have to witness this unfairness week after week. I sit there fuming and stewing, imagining what I would do if the stickiness of the situation were removed. I find myself scheming little plots involving his demise and I realize how far off the wagon I have fallen. I am a logical, mature, in control person----or am I?

This week I was browsing through some stuff and ran across this quote: "Holding a grudge is like letting someone live in your head rent free". Lightning bolt! This was me. I was letting this person live in my head and control my feelings rent free. I realized there are a lot more pressing things that need to be occupying my mind right now, and he doesn't deserve to be one of them. I know I need to reframe the situation. I am fully aware of what is occurring and that I need to evict this particular tenant from my mind space. The question is how? What do you do? What are the steps? I have to suffer through this person for 6 more weeks and I need a game plan. Any ideas? Or am I the only carnal, evil person out there?

Would the good news please step forward?

I am sick of bad news. There has been so much of it lately.  My good friend gets diagnosed with cancer and will be starting a year long treatment shortly. CANCER I HATE YOU!  I'm so tired of it ruining so many lives.  My other good friend just hit the year anniversary of losing her husband. So brutal. My mom just was diagnosed with osteoporosis. My son's best friend received a serious eye injury today that might leave him without sight in that eye. Enough for one day. If you have some good news please share. I really need to hear some. Thanks.

The Fun as of Late

Marin, Selena, Reg, Coop

We have had a great few days! On Wednesday we embarked on our ski/snowboarding trip with my in-laws (Rick and Gin and their girls).  We stayed at La Quinta in Kalispell which was awesome. There was virtually no one in the hotel and the kids had the pool and hot tub to themselves every night. We outfitted Coop with skiis for his birthday and he was perfectly pleased. So nice to have us all geared up now and not have to wait in rental lines. I gave myself a Christmas present and got a snowboard.


On Thursday we headed up to Blacktail Mountain Ski Resort. The lack of of snow was troubling on the drive up, but luckily there was enough to ski on once we got there. Again, hardly any one on the hill except about four other Cardston families. Coop got to ski for free because it was his birthday and Marin got to ski for free because they have a free program for kids in grade five. Sweet!!!

That night we went to Cooper's favorite restaurant, Sizzler, and then had a party in the hotel room, which involved a lot of Lego. I don't really recommend trying to transport completed Lego sets back home after a trip.....

The next day we shopped and I tried to price out a few things at Lowes and Home Depot. I have decided to build a house. I'm pretty excited about it. Cam and I were about to build when he was diagnosed and then obviously those plans got put on the back burner. It occurred to me a few months ago that he would want me to go forward with that plan. I wanted to be able to enjoy it now while the kids are still home, because as I have noticed, time goes by awfully fast. I was kind of keeping it on the down low, but then I had to make a presentation to town council about road access and little did I know it was being broadcast on the Cardston Channel. So much for secrets, but that is small town living for you. I have 10 acres of land that is within the Cardston limits so there will be lots of room for the kids to play around. I am just beginning the process and am amazed at how much there is to do. It will be nice to have something to focus on though, besides work and kids.

Unreal view from the top of Big Mountain

Hanging at the lodge

On the chair lift

Hotel room party

Back to the trip.............That evening we went night skiing at Whitefish. I had never been night skiing before and it was AWESOME! The kids loved it as well. They went full boar from 4 until the last chair at 8:30pm. Cooper has gotten so good so fast, probably because he has no fear. One time we took him up to the top and he zoomed down ahead of us. At the midway point the trail branches off to three different trails. I had no idea which one he went down. It is a big resort and an easy place to get lost. I got to the bottom and there he was kicking back in the lodge sipping hot chocolate with Gin. I came in with an exasperated look on my face. His reply was, "Where ya been? I've been here for 10 minutes already!" Sheesh.We finished off the night by swimming in the pool 'til 11:00pm.

Sam and Coop

The next morning we had to rush home for Cooper's baptism that evening. Baptisms are pretty brutal events to get through for our family. Marin's was really tough for me and I was expecting the same for Coop's. Unexpectedly, I held it together pretty well this time. My nephew Sam baptized him and did a great job. There was an amazing, tangible spirit in the room that let me know that Cam was right there. Afterward we had dinner at my parents. There were 50 people there, half of them kids. I am so lucky to have such a supportive family that takes such good care of us.

Now, it is back to the grind.......Hard to accept that the holidays are over but I am looking forward to seeing my students and colleagues.