The title of this blog is a favorite quote from Gretchen Rueben's book, The Happiness Project. I admit, I do catch myself wishing away some days, some seasons of life, hoping for better things. The years pass quickly and when I look back I realize those WERE the better things. In an effort to capture those better things I begin this blog. The details of my life are many things: mundane, quirky, sad, joyful, and hopefully, at times, entertaining. About three years ago my life was pretty much an open book when I blogged about our family's struggle with leukemia. When that was over I closed the book. I now open it again----well, at least a few chapters

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Holding a Grudge is Like Letting Someone Live Rent Free in Your Head

I have been thinking a lot about the power we ALLOW other people to have over us.  Time and time again we let someone else control our happiness, our emotions, our inner weather. We can get so angry and worked up about this person and the situation they have caused, and yet they have absolutely no idea that we feel this way.

I hate to say this has happened to me lately. There is someone who is in my son's sphere of influence that is making me crazy. I am allowing him to control how I feel and if I am angry or not. A lot of other people know that I feel this way, but he has no idea. I would love to talk to him directly about it but I can't. It is one of those situations where if I say something other things  could be in jeopardy.

The problem is I have a very difficult time letting go of things. I am a very emotional person. It is hard for me to just let things roll off, especially when injustices are occurring, and I have to witness this unfairness week after week. I sit there fuming and stewing, imagining what I would do if the stickiness of the situation were removed. I find myself scheming little plots involving his demise and I realize how far off the wagon I have fallen. I am a logical, mature, in control person----or am I?

This week I was browsing through some stuff and ran across this quote: "Holding a grudge is like letting someone live in your head rent free". Lightning bolt! This was me. I was letting this person live in my head and control my feelings rent free. I realized there are a lot more pressing things that need to be occupying my mind right now, and he doesn't deserve to be one of them. I know I need to reframe the situation. I am fully aware of what is occurring and that I need to evict this particular tenant from my mind space. The question is how? What do you do? What are the steps? I have to suffer through this person for 6 more weeks and I need a game plan. Any ideas? Or am I the only carnal, evil person out there?
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2 comments:

Kaylynn said...

Just be glad that you are not that person and that you don't have to live with that person. Hold on until the end of the 6 weeks...

January 17, 2012 at 9:54 AM
Barb said...

Cor you are not going to like this, because I don't like it but it has worked for me WAY too many times for me not to pass it along. Ready.....pray, pray specifically that you won't have any hard feelings for that person. I have even SOMETIMES asked the person to forgive me for having hard feelings toward them. It totally works. Good luck sweetheart, it is something I struggle a lot with. People don't believe me but honestly I struggle a lot with it.

January 26, 2012 at 11:01 PM

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