A Beautiful Life

Three years ago I watched as my best friend left this life for a better one. Although I'm sure it was an exhilarating experience for him, my perspective is much different. I would not wish what I witnessed that day, or the previous two and a half years on anyone. The excruciating loneliness and the void in my life left by his absence are crosses that I have be called to bear. On days like today they are ever so heavy.

C.S. Lewis became my best friend in the weeks and months that followed. Even though we have never met, his inspired writings and voice within them reached out to my wounded heart. In the pages of his books I found understanding and solace.

"There are moments, most unexpected, when something inside me tries to assure me that I don't really mind so much, not so very much, after all, love is not the whole of a man's life. I was happy before I ever met H. I've plenty of what are called 'resources'. People get over these things. Come, I shan't do so badly. One is ashamed to listen to this voice but it seems for a little to be making out a good case. Then comes a sudden jab of red-hot memory and all this 'commonsense' vanishes like an ant in the mouth of a furnace..."  (From A Grief Oberved)

Such beautiful and wrenching writing!

Fifteen years is what I had with a very remarkable person. I count myself so blessed. I learned many lessons at his side. I am still learning from the lessons he taught me. He was the ultimate example of how to live, how to treat people, and how to prioritize what really matters. It is a miracle that he chose ME. I was promised that my home would be a bit of heaven on earth, and there were many times that it was, and he was the reason for it.

I can't wait to get back to that bit of heaven again.