Pretty Good Weekend

I have felt kind of derailed the last few weeks so it was finally nice to have a good weekend. It started with a party and ended with some snowboarding.

Let's talk party first. I hate parties. I avoid them like the plague. They are uncomfortable, awkward, and a constant reminder of the gaping holes in my life. I only go to them when my kids beg and beg. I used to be quite a party animal. In my other life, Cam and I used to be invited to lots of parties and we really enjoyed them. We liked the competition kind of parties like amazing race ones, and commandoes. Usually we were the victors.

I recall a very uncomfortable experience that happened during my first Christmas season alone. An "acquaintance" called me up on the phone with an invitation. She typically held a Christmas party each year whose guests included several couples in our circle of friends and ward members. She mentioned that she would be holding the party again and knew that I probably would know it was happening. She THOUGHT it would maybe be nice if I could COME AND HELP SERVE at the party since I wouldn't be involved in a typical way and that this way I could still be invited. Well, let's see...............I would just love to come and dish up your food and serve it to all my friends who have husbands and are having a fantastic Christmas season, because mine is shaping up to be just delightful...................
..........................NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know she meant no harm and that she was truly trying to reach out in kindness, but when you are not part of the club, you just don't get it. There is probably only one or two people reading this blog entry who actually get it. What is the club, you may ask? Well some like to call it the widows club. I hate that word---widow. It denotes weakness,  dependence,  and pity. I am none of these things. However, this weekend I was invited to a club type of activity. I have a friend whose late husband was in the hospital with Cam in Calgary. I got to know her husband really quite well. Cam and I visited with him for hours. The interesting part is that the first time I met her was at Cam's funeral. We have kept in touch since then. There are a group of people, like us, who get together in Lethbridge from time to time. She had invited me to these get togethers before, but it just never worked out. I finally decided to go. To my utter surprise, it was the most comfortable I have been at a party in a very long time. It felt so safe and accepting, and the kicker was, we were all in same boat--single moms (and one dad), trying our best to get through life and raise our kids. I spoke with a women whosw husband went to bed healthy and woke up dead from an embolism. I felt like I had know her my whole life. But that is how it always is with "the club". It connects you to people like nothing else.

The kids got to play sports in the gym and jump around in a gynormous boucy castle while the grown ups visited. It was also very interesting how the kids hit it off. It was great.

Today we went snowboarding to Castle. It was so fun. I forgot how much I love doing it. We went with my bro-in-law and his kids. I'm so grateful for Cam's siblings. They are so very, very good to me. I don't come from a large family, and I'm the oldest so Cam's brothers and sisters make me feel like I have some older siblings to rely on and have fun with. I only had two bad wipe outs and there was only one kid meltdown. If that isn't success I don't know what is. Fun times. Can't wait to have more during Christmas break. 5 more days 'til FREEDOM!!!!